Synopsis: After working with thousands of clients as their career and life coach I’ve witnessed how not maintaining the proper “clinical distance” in a relationship between your boss and yourself inevitably results in grief, sometimes for both sides, but more often, to the one in a subordinate position. This blog is about a few of those cases and how they ended. It is also a reminder about how to avoid such situations.   In some of my previous blogs I have written...

Unguard/ verb trans.: Remove a guard or defense from; expose to attack   This word, unguard is most commonly used during fencing, where two dueling fencers get ready to engage. Although an interview is not where two engage in a similar duel, the metaphor is apt when psychologically the interviewer inveigles the candidate to expose their vulnerabilities and foibles. During job interviews skilled interviewers understand how to ingratiate themselves with you during a friendly exchange...

I often work with clients engaged in changing jobs or sometimes just looking to get back to work again. Here, I help them with their positioning, messaging, campaign, interviewing prep, salary negotiations, and getting started in a new job with their 100-Day plan. I also work with them after they get going. This is when I uncover the difference between what was promised or expected during interviews and the ground reality of what my clients experience in their new job. Recently, I came...

During my client career planning sessions we also discuss their development needs focusing on how to improve their leadership effectiveness by embracing certain practices espoused in books by their authors. Clients also ask me for suggestions on what books to read, what videos to watch, or what audio recordings to listen to for improving their overall effectiveness. Although I have a list of books and such tools that I keep updated on an ongoing basis, my view of their direct and immediate...

In many of my previous blogs I have written about how nearly 80% of the managers are dysfunctional, incompetent, indifferent, disengaged, or lack basic leadership skills to inspire their flock. Micromanaging bosses also fall in this category. However, they are often in that role and continue to rise in power, rank, and influence because they are very good at managing up—kissing-up—to protect their position at the expense of causing harm to their own teams that they are supposed...

“It was the best of questions, it was the worst of questions…..” –A made-up quote!   Most have a very different—one-sided—view of what a strong and compelling response is for interview questions. With many of my clients I conduct debrief after key interviews and learn from them what questions are being asked and how they responded to those questions. Of course, in most of the cases I use this as the last step to close the loop during our...

“Pain (any pain–emotional, physical, mental) has a message. The information it has about our life can be remarkably specific, but it usually falls into one of two categories: ‘We would be more alive if we did more of this,’ and, ‘Life would be more lovely if we did less of that.’ Once we get the pain’s message, and follow its advice, the pain goes away.” – Peter McWilliams   “Be the change you wish to see in the...

Metanoia: noun: A profound transformation in one’s outlook. Shifting one’s mind may sound like a daunting task, especially when you feel stuck and nothing is working to get you unstuck. But if you watch this two-minute video, changing a few words that covey a different sentiment and how others look at your situation can be a powerful reminder of how we get stuck in our own situation and fail to communicate to others what we need from them to get us unstuck....

I’ve always maintained that a cover letter provides you an additional avenue to make your case beyond what a strong résumé alone can provide when applying for a job. The undeniable power of a great cover letter comes from its ability to persuade its reader to see things beyond what is otherwise possible through a résumé—even a great résumé! Why do I say this? Last week two examples jumped out that further reinforced my conviction...

You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions. -Naguib Mahfouz, writer, Nobel laureate (1911-2006)   Interviews are typically an anxiety-provoking and a stressful step for the candidates going after a new job. Many analogize them to a root-canal procedure, except that for this you do not have to go through a lot of preparations; just getting psyched-up is often enough, and, sometimes, knowing that you have enough available...

Candidates go into their interview rounds, both with great anticipation and apprehension. Anticipation, because they want to get that job offer after the demanding rounds of interviews; apprehension, because they are afraid of flubbing interview questions that they are prepared for, but are not sure that they will have the presence of mind to deliver what they know in a cogent and compelling way. Yet another concern most candidates have during such interviews is that their ability to reason...

Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer. –William S. Burroughs The recent surge of hiring in the job market has resulted in increased traffic in my coaching practice. Most of this added traffic comes from prospects seeking a job change. Although some want help, starting with their positioning, résumé, and other basic job-search preparations, the majority of this traffic comes to me from those who want to understand how to...