Frustrated and defeated clients often call me when their repeated requests and promises made by their bosses for raises, promotions, transfer, and career advancements remain unfulfilled. A typical case entails the dreaded Annual Performance Review (APR) cycle when the client is convinced that they are going to get the next promotion. However, they wake up to a different reality: Their conviction is often vitiated by the new reality which now stems from the crossing of previous signals their boss had give them throughout the year, without actually promising that they would be getting that promotion (or, raise, or stocks, or whatever). The other aspect of this conviction is the client’s own perception that their undertaking would be significant enough to warrant a worthy consideration that advances their career.

It is at times likes these that I get called by my client who is now distraught over yet another dashed hope and an intense feeling of disloyalty to their group, boss, organization, and company. In most such cases they just want to pack up and leave their job in protest of how they have been treated. If they executed on their impulse, in most such cases, the client would be left without a job with all the associated uncertainty of what comes next. Equally humiliating is the thought of having to explain why they left when things were going so well!

Being Forehanded

In most such cases the root-cause of their problem is not proactively managing their own expectations, further exacerbated by how they present their case and how they manage their boss’ perception after they have been ignored without any consideration. A good example would be a recent case of a client who had worked very hard during the past three years building an India center from the ground-up and staffing its technical talent (engineers, technicians, and support staff) from nothing to a team of 25. Not only was she successful in staffing this center with top talent, during the three years, but she also had set up a good management methodology by developing a solid team structure, a process for delivering products on a rhythm, and releasing a train of products that had done well in the market.

Where she came short in this episode was that she did not proactively manage her boss’ expectations of what would be an adequate consideration for her success and accomplishments, right from the get-go! She expected her boss to notice this stellar success as she was delivering with diligence and hard work, and expected him to acknowledge it with a suitable reward that would advance her career. What she should have done, instead, was once she had the plan in place tell her boss what to expect, deliver it, and then ask for that reward she was promised before it was set in motion! Just to protect herself from wholesale org changes (see below) she should also have sent an email about this plan, acknowledging her boss’ promise to her.

From how I saw it her accomplishments were the tour de force that demanded management recognition, particularly as she also succeeded in doing her hands-on development job locally in difficult circumstances, here in the Silicon Valley. Throughout the three years she was working two shifts: During the day keeping her local project on track, and during the night building, growing, and managing the India team, guiding it to emerge from a scrappy, chaotic, cowboy-like operation to a disciplined team that delivered like clockwork.

The Martyrdom Trap!

The sad part of this story—for my client—was that soon afterwards there was a massive re-org and all her bosses were gone (next three levels). New bosses came in and started wholesale reorgs, bringing in their own buddies to populate the ranks in the reshuffled organization. In the shuffle my client was “re-orged” and given a project as an individual contributor, taking away her team, all her hard work during the past three years, and consigning her to an insignificant role, albeit on a potentially important project. Her new boss was also “generous” enough to let her keep her previous Manager-1 title, despite a great chasm in what she did before to her new responsibilities and role. She was, rightfully so, outraged!

This is when the client called me and told me her woes. So, when I asked her what she planned to do to move forward in this highly uncertain and spiraling situation her emotional response was typical of someone with a martyr mindset. She proclaimed that she was going to march into the VP’s office (her skip-level boss) and angrily lay down her complaint about how she had been mistreated despite her hard work, successes with the India team, and on-time releases of market-worthy products that she had worked on during the past three years. She then was going to ask the VP that unless they restored her status leading a team and gave her some “power” to run her project she was going to go look for another job!

Hwooh! I said to her after a short silence on our phone call. I reminded her that the management had already decided that she was not of much value to them as evidenced by her recent station and assignment on that project, despite the project’s potential importance. By giving her skip-level boss, who barely knew her, an ultimatum, I assured her of his most likely response, which would be to ask her to leave, freeing up yet one more slot for their buddies. If such were the response then she was out of a job, having lost all the momentum she had created and built over the past three years and that she would have to go explaining why she was out of a job with such a stellar record of accomplishments.

Putting “Them” First

I suggested to her an alternate approach: Instead of storming into the VP’s office and giving him an ultimatum, do some research on her current project assignment and showcase its importance to the company in view of how the market was changing and how the competition was moving forward. Then I asked her to create a detailed project plan and show how this project could be released to lead the market and positioned to generate significant revenues if they prioritized its release with proper resource allocation. She would be leading the charge—and the team—to ensure that the project would be on track, invoking her successes during the past three years.

Despite her initial seething rage she saw some merit in this approach and assured me that she would give it some thought. A week later she came up with a plan that essentially addressed the issues I had proposed and came up with a proposal to the VP to take charge of the project with her own team reporting to her. As one might expect, the VP consulted her boss and they both agreed that her proposal was cogent and compelling. Within the next few weeks, they re-scoped the project, gave her the team resources she asked and agreed to her timeline to execute the project. Once they agreed to her plan she was now smart forehanded enough to ask for a better role and a promotion if she was successful in its delivery. They agreed, which she acknowledged in an email back to the new VP!

Although this changed course of action is still fresh, the turnaround in how a new outcome was created by simply repositioning the priorities is an object lesson of how shifting the focus from what you want to what your employer could benefit from, can shift the tide of your fortunes in situations, which can otherwise be most unfavorable to your career, enough to even scuttle it.

So, what is the lesson from this episode: Learn how to shift your mindset from what you want Vs. what your boss and company would benefit from and then develop a plan that includes you in making that happen. You’d be amazed how you’ll get what you want without asking for it! Although this approach is quite counterintuitive, especially in times when your own emotions can get the best of you, it is worth taking the time to step back and doing what is best for you, by putting ahead what is best for them!

Good luck!