This difference between feeling uneasy and getting uncomfortable is about how you decide to deal with your situation! –Anonymous.

When clients come to me to advance their careers I often ask them what opportunities they are pursuing that need my help. In most cases they are seeking incremental advancements in their station: a 5% raise in lieu of the usual 2.5% that everyone is given; a bigger team, or greater responsibility in their current role. When I ask them why are they not going after their boss’ job or getting out of their company after being in the same role of 5-7 years their popular refrain is about risk they’d taking and about how uncomfortable they would be in both, going after such a goal and then faring well in that new role.

This is when I urge them to go for it, showing them how to do this so that they continue to feel that degree of discomfort throughout the process and when they land their targeted job or objective.

In my mind the difference between feeling uneasy and getting uncomfortable about a certain situation stems from how you instinctively sense what you’ve signed up for and how the circumstances in which you land let you feel about what lies ahead.

For example, When you get a new boss, who manages in ways that goes against all that you hold dear and of value—constant politicking, micromanaging, lack of leadership, toxic behavior, having their own arbitrary causes and favored team members, among other such repugnant traits, it is normal to feel uneasy. When you feel uneasy you feel suffocated, stressed out, and out of control. This can be bad for your health, career, and welfare. It is normal to feel uneasy when there is a certain—or even large—degree of unpredictability and arbitrariness to how a situation affects you and this is not good for you.

As human beings we have this gift of instinctively sensing when something is not right and when something that is happening or about to is going to harm us. Our gift of fear is one of such instincts. Having a feeling of uneasiness is another, when it comes to your job and your career!

On the other hand, when a new boss challenges you with greater responsibility of managing a much larger project, with a global team now reporting to you and with much more visibility to the higher-ups, it is normal to feel a certain level of discomfort as you take this assignment on and as you prosecute that project. The normal response to such challenges is your own apprehension and your diffidence. When confronted with such situations I’m often reminded of a famous quote: “You do not know how far you can go until you go too far.”—Emerson.

Using this inspiration from Emerson I often challenge my clients to identify stretch goals and then help them prepare for securing and then conquering such stretch goals. In most cases when they are operating in a normal environment of reasonably competent organizations, and supporting ecosystems they not only meet their goals, they often end up surprising themselves with how well they do in taking on such stretch assignments they initially felt were out of their reach.

So, what are the guidelines for avoiding or dealing with uneasy situations and conquering situations that put you out of your comfort zone? Here is my guide:

Uneasy Situations:

1. Find out what has changed that causes you this feeling of uneasiness and try to codify the factors that can help you analyze the situation. Be honest about your play in the environment that causes you this feeling and see if there are any adjustments you can make to improve things for you by making some effort.
2. Journal your observations and feelings on a regular basis and keep doing this until you come to some conclusion that this situation is not only not changing for the better, it is getting worse.
3. See if you continue to get the growing feeling of avoiding your work and feeling squirrelly most of the time you’re at work. This squirrelly feeling causes you to act like a squirrel: unpredictable, jumpy, and nervous. Try to pinpoint when such a feeling is more intense and the people or circumstances that cause you this feeling.
4. Assess to see if on Monday mornings you are already making weekend plans.
5. Ask your spouse, friends, or others around you if you are constantly being irritable and jumpy. Also, observe if such people are trying to avoid you and staying away from you.

This is only a partial list of how feeling uneasy at work manifests in your everyday existence. If any or all of these factors are present in your case you must make a change immediately to improve things.

You must make that change by confronting the situations, people, and causes that result in your reacting this way. If you cannot make such a change you must walk away by finding other options available, including changing your job, company, or even your career. However, as I have written in my several previous blogs, you must learn to confront, deal, and improve your current situation, if for no other reason that to know how to conquer it on your own. Simple walking away and running to something else unknown in the hope of improving your station does not prepare you—or immunize you—from similar or worse situations in the future. So, treat such encounters as gifts to improve your own self and to your leadership capabilities!

Uncomfortable Situations:

Within the rubric of this blog uncomfortable situations arise primarily from putting yourself out on a stretch assignment where you do not know if you have the wherewithal and inner resources to deal with what you’ve taken on. In such cases here are my guidelines to success:

1. In the case of voluntary situations such as going after a bigger job, more demanding employer, or going in a new direction, first take an inventory of your current situation, your momentum, and your own desire to succeed at something big, new, or unknown. If you feel good about these you are mentally ready to take on the next challenge that may cause you discomfort.
2. In the case of involuntary situations where someone—including your boss—approaches you with a challenge, do not immediately respond with a no. Assess the challenge and why they think that you are the person they chose to take on this challenge. Calibrate their expectations.
3. In either case make a plan and assess where you need help and where your existing capital can help you establish your leadership in taking on this challenge with confidence.
4. Openly discuss your concerns about what you think may present problems for you in this challenge with your superiors and other stakeholders and solicit advice to get more insights, guidance, and support. Show some vulnerability instead of bravado. This socializing early on can be a major factor in how key support is made available and how much leeway you’ll have in your staying on track, especially during the early stages of your challenge.
5. Do not be afraid to escalate concerns and potential problems preemptively to your superiors and others, so that you can obviate those rather than reacting to them in a panic.
6. Provide leadership even when you feel deficient in cases where those reporting to you technically know more than you do. Your role is not always to provide technical leadership, but to know whom to go to when you need their inputs. The trick is knowing what you do not know and where to find it.
7. Start building relationships with those who are going to resist your success, beginning with those who should have got this assignment in the first place. Their continued interference, passive aggressiveness, or lack of support can torpedo your success.
8. Give your team and others credit from the get-go. Do not wait for the finish line to acknowledge key contributors.
9. Admit wrongs as they happen. Remember, you are navigating through uncharted waters, so there will be surprises, mistakes, and wrong judgment calls. Do not point fingers; acknowledge mistakes and move on.
10. Everyone is rooting for you. Just do your best and see how the finish line inexorably marches towards you, instead of your chasing it!

Managing your career well is about knowing when you are feeling uneasy and when you’re getting outside your comfort zone. Knowing and dealing with each properly can make the difference between having a job and having a career!

Good luck!